Don't just be in the moment.. Be present

Sometimes, all we need is a hand to hold.  I work with old people, all types of generational appeal and class.  A lot of these people have dementia or Alzheimer's disease which is sad because I am sure they have stories upon stories untold and long forgotten hidden inside their minds.  One such individual, a woman in her nineties, 98 to be exact, was in the prime of her sundowners for the day (which is a fancy term for people with such diseases as her who become upset, confused, concerned, aggressive - really anything other than okay) and she wheeled over to me in her wheelchair and said in her little voice "hey." Hey. Hey. Hey.  

I turned around and she just looked at me with her knowing eyes and said "my back hurts."

I asked her if she wanted to lay down to which she replied she would lay down when she was good and ready. She was upset so I took

Her hand and she stilled. I just held her hand for a minute. Two minutes. Three. Finally I put my charting down and committed to the act of holding her hand. She calmed. 

After while she took her hand back and wheeled away but she imparted much wisdom to me while we held hands. Don't just be in the moment . Be present in the moment . Put aside your agenda and be with someone. Listen without texting. Listen without interrupting to respond. Take the time out of your life to give of yourself the way THEY need it instead of how you are most comfortable with it. It's these little things that make the biggest difference. This is how you save lives , promote healing, strengthen bonds.  But mostly, this is how you calm the storm- by sitting in it with someone. 

We were never meant to be alone.