that wind that blows me home

I am sitting in the parking lot at a place called Alaska land. well technically, its called Pioneer Park but anyone who has lived in Fairbanks their entire lives know what its really called.  regardless, I am in my beautiful busted reconstructed Ford Explorer with the windows down at 11 at night and the wind is blowing through one window and out the other. 

Ever since I can remember, I have connected with the wind in my life.  Not in a super spiritual way but it has always seemed to calm me down in my anger, bring peace in my pain, and remind me in my loneliness.

Tonight, as i sit here with words upon words in my head i am brought peace.  The wind goes everywhere.  No matter where i go it will be there.  Kinda the same thing with god.  I have been going back and forth, up and down thinking about who god is to me.  my life. my purpose.  But its comforting to know that no matter where i am, just like the wind, god is there.

--Jackie

The home of the Last Frontier

 

I am currently living back in Alaska.  Every time I come home, i am in awe at what i have left behind.  I am captured by every sunset, every rain, every drunk native, every single cultural difference from Seattle.  God, I love it here.  Alaska is where I grew up, Alaska is my home.  Recently, I thought to make Alaska my home forever while I do missions work.  Go and come go and come.

But then, I remember the beauty that I left behind.  Seattle.  beautiful Seattle.  the busyness, the bus lines, the people (oh the people!), the rain, the lakes, and how pretty spring is when those heavenly cherry blossoms bloom and the wind blows those delicate pink petals all over the state.  Its magical.

And then, Egypt.  Hot, beautiful, Egypt.   I know I only lived there for 2 months, but i miss it something fierce.  It wasn't the most aesthetically pleasing place to live and sometimes when the wind picked up really hard, i smelled something pungent.  But the people are loving and sweet, and the culture screams of something complexly foreign to me, but i would go back if i could.  I miss seeing the beaten up old taxi’s everywhere.  I miss the fruit stands and the constant jibber of Arabic and myself straining to understand some of it.  I miss getting inside our flat after being stuck in traffic and turning on the air conditioner.  I even miss the food and the annoying men catcalling.  Not because i need that for some kind of personal enrichment, but because Egypt wouldn’t be Egypt without them.  :).   What i miss the most however, is making memories in a new place and holding them with me forever.

I will live many places in my lifetime.  I may never come back to Alaska, or go visit Egypt. I may never again see the beautiful Seattle skyline, but i do know that living in a new place always comes with the pros.  I love it.  I am so excited to venture out and discover more and more of the beautiful places in on this globe.  I will fall in love and build relationships, make memories and then move away and start again.  its the beauty of life. until then however, I am stationed here in this glorious state of Alaska, the home of the last frontier.

--Jackie