I am going crazy. It's terrifying. I am unsure and uncomfortable. I hate feeling unsure. But all the doors are opening, and I haven't heard a No from the big guy upstairs yet.. Thats a positive sign. So now I need to think about selling my car? a storage shed for the nice bed I bought? should I sell everything? How freeing would that be. to only own what I can carry. see what I mean? its amazing that I sleep!
I got offered a legitimate Job. A real job. at an academy in Seoul, where the owner is a Christian and her husband is a minister. I'd be able to find a church like *that*. Talking all this out with God doesn't seem to help too much. It's just a jumble in my mind and I wish I could sort it out but no matter how many lists I write, how much I try to organize.. It's still new and scary.. but also a little exhilarating.
I mean.. I'M GOING TO KOREA!! its like my dream and the things I've told people are coming true. What God told me is coming true. its scary but exciting and stressful but its moving and wonderful. I just need to continue to try putting my trust in God instead of myself. Which has become a day to day operation that I fail on a day to day basis. Hopefully, I'll get it. I'm tired of complaining about not trusting him. Now is the time for forward movement. Now is the time to really TRY and trust him. It's just not how I expected it. -- But is it ever?
--Jackie
