pass me by the crowds of people

Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place

Take me into the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me into the holy of holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am

I never wanted to do things halfway.  I didn't know that when I first found Jesus, I would take a four year hiatus to find myself.  I never imagined I would become cynical of religion and jaded by Christians. But I am and I have.  Thing is, I don't regret it.  I did find myself, and I like who I am (for the most part).  I do not like who I am outside of Christ though.  I think I am a better, stronger, braver, more compassionate, more patient, more loving, generally all around better person when I am side by side with Jesus.  

Here's the thing I discovered though; I do not want something fake.  If I am going to love Jesus, I want JESUS.  I do not want some cheap cardboard copy example from a church, christian or tv preacher.  I want something real.  The song I was listening to, and currently am listening to right now (i posted the lyrics up there) is about that feeling.  He doesn't want the surface stuff, he doesn't want the holy alter, he doesn't care about the priests - he wants the Holy of Holies, the real deal, nothing less. 

I want Jesus, and I realize that the people that I have let effect me -  the Christians who have disappointed me, the pastors who I feel have forgotten me, the hypocrisy I have witnessed by the body of Christ, the judgmental attitudes, the wayward friendships of "love" and the double standards when presented with sin - cannot be what I am willing to settle on.  I cannot let people be Christ for me, because we all need our savior, not just me.  Bad things will happen in churches because people are involved, not everyone will disappoint but a lot will and it will be okay, because I will disappoint people too.  I have hurt people too.  

Take me into the holy of Holies.  The holy of holies was an area in the Temple that was like the most sacred of areas.  No one was allowed to go back there except the high priest, once a year. It was covered with a veil and just really really special.  sacred. the song is saying, get me past EVERYTHING and let me be with Jesus in that HOLY place. no bs, just being with him.  The last part of the song says take the coal touch my lips, here I am - its referencing Isiah 6 when the prophet has a vision of sorts.  He just says he sees the Lord sitting on the throne and he is so overwhelmed by how holy and pure God is, that he is in a state of sorrow at how filthy with sin he is.  A seraph (pretty sure its like an angel) came to him with a piece of coal from the alter and cleansed him by touching his lips with it.  God then asks who he can send to go speak to his people for him - Isaiah volunteers and the biggest book of the prophets was born. 

take me into the holy of holies - I do not want the courtyard, I dont care about the priests that sing his praise, I want Jesus, in the holy place because I do not want a tainted idea of him, I just want him. 

- his beloved