Journey

Consciousness played no part

to my wandering

my hands empty, my back bare

completely unprepared

unaware of the departure, unaware of the destination

I stood under the heat of the sun

Made the decision to turn

Turn away and walk

My decision focused as I faced the depths

 I embraced the fate I chose as I entered the void

The trees were dark here

No warmth from the sun

I turned my face from that light

Choosing instead the burn from my selfishness

I wrestled with my spirit

As I gave way to flesh

Indulging in things

Found only in the dark

The sweet intoxication of lust

The metallic aroma of hate

The bliss of pride

The smell of wealth

I traced my tongue over the tastes of the depths

Giving way to pleasures and desires

The dark creeping into my skin

Pinprick after pinprick of sweet slick sin

I made the forest my home

So deep I abided, the sun barely crept through

The creatures of the night were my companions

I craved the freedom they represented

Dancing wild in the moonlight

Mixing blood with demons

The forest held me

I clenched back in a vise for dear life

Losing myself to the shadows

Unaware of the roots wrapping around me

The moonlight dimmed

The dancing slowed

The perfume of lust turned stench

hate eroded my soul

the wind picked up and clouds turned black

rain clouded my eyes, roots tripped my feet

my companions fled

alone

the forest raged around me

left with nothing but hate

lust

pride

greed

the sun did not shine here

my hair blew wild around me

standing in the middle of the forest

I longed for the sun

It all became too much

I scrambled around blind

Grasping at anything

Blown about and torn by my own devices

Demons ripping at my skin

The sun peeks through

Giving light to my eyes

Bright, so bright

Showing me the way out

Stumbling against the wind

I emerge beaten, bruised, haggard

The sun greets me

I turn my face away

I love the sun

But the comfort of the shadows lingers

The scars of my debauchery scream raw

I am changed

Right. Left. Right. Left.

I move away from the depths

It calls to me

My demons cling to me

The sun warms me

I am changed.

The sun warms me.

Romans 7: 14 For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I [would] like to [do], but I am doing the very thing I hate.