My heart is sad within me. I don't know how to explain why. I only know that although I am very aware or change and have come to expect it, it hurts alot when it involves people you once knew and loved. I know people change. I know I have changed. I know life deals blows that can only change us, that one will be forever marred by. Death, heartbreak, loss, love. I also know that those around us can watch us change, even pointing out our new characteristics without us even seeing what they see. We walk along oblivious until one day we look around and ask how we got here? where did our old friends go? What's up with my new friends?? Who am I? Who do I wanna be? Why didnt I listen?

What sucks even more is being the friend left behind. Simply put, thats how I feel, but then I have to ask myself who I've left behind while I've been the one to change, marred by life. I like change. I expect it but it's these things that are least desired, completely unthought of and left to reappear like a rude slap kn the face. No one ever dreams about the realistic expectation of change- not all change is positive. Has mine been?? I know some who would say that it hasn't. I know some who would applaud my changes. Me? I daresay I enjoy the process of becoming me. That's important. No one else will be me exept me, so to the naysayers I would extend a preverbal finger- maybe that's a negative Aspect of my change- maybe not?

Regardless of the questions, I lament the loss of a friend because we lost our foundation when she pursued her change. It's sad. My heart cries. But I will morph into something stronger from it. I will change into someone stronger.

-his beloved