The shack

I've been reading that book, the shack and its amazing. Its changing my life. well.. alot of books change my life. *random thought* i think i wanna buy a kindle. I'd like lots of books on it. * anyways. The shack. lifechanging. it makes me feel things i havent felt since i first met jesus. It brings me back. lets me remember how beautiful i thought god was. How intimate we were. And i traded my love for things like bitterness, hate, hypocracy, judgement... sin. why didnt i guard it? why did i let what people had to say about me and my relationship with jesus affect it? There is a verse in the bible that says, and above all else, guard your heart. Well. me and my heart have always been at opposing sides of the field. I doubt i've ever fully trusted my heart but on a few occasions. therefore it is easy for me to understand why i wouldn't have guarded it. It doesnt seem to be that important. I think i just allow too much in and haven't been very good with boundaries- for my heart that is.

I have spent alot of time lately looking at god and who he is. and i realized, when the focus really is on him, the bitterness goes away, the anger fades, the resentment is mended and I see that fiercly loving god that i met when i first started this walk with him. I see beauty and power and i am in love and amazed and in awe at how big and powerful yet sweet and tender he really is. its like the bad melts off me when I am focusing on him. I get that verse now. "seek first the kingdom of god and all else will be given to you"


something inside my heart is changing. choices are being made. life is being birthed into me again. the life he wants for me. A life of the girl who he created to be loved, being lived as one who is loved.

--jackie