It's okay to think for yourself

I am driving like a maniac to get to work before my lunch break is over and as I am pulling in, the car in front of me comes to a complete stop at the stop sign and waits (I am assuming to look both ways for the nonexistent cars)  then proceeds to pull out.  I was sitting behind the larger car and I knew there weren’t any cars.  Obviously, there *MAY* have been some but there weren’t.  The car literally stopped simply because a stop sign was present.  After it pulls away however, I am still sitting at the stop sign thinking about the asinine societal customs that we stop thinking about and just do. 

I remember when I was younger, I really held true to the quote “character is what you do when no one is looking.”  I have tried to live a genuine life, full of integrity and honesty – to those around me but more specifically, to myself. It has been a lifelong – code of ethics if you will.  However, as I am fully integrated into our society, knowing the rules and customs, I find myself wanting to redefine my code and argue with the reasons for our actions. 

Does having good character mean following the rules? Who sets the standard for being good of character?  Does not stopping at that stop sign mean that I am bad even if no one was around?  And if it does mean that, why?  Why should I have to stop if there aren’t any cars around (after I have verified with my surroundings, not just assumed) and why should I allow myself to feel bad for not stopping just for the sake of stopping?  Why are we doing things just for the sake of doing them?  Do we even know what our own definitions are?  How many people actually sit down and think about what their actions mean and why they do them?

I have been faced with finding my center recently.  This year has been a doozy and I dropped my fucks off with every month that passed by.  I am finally in a place where I can – (although knowing our roles) disintegrate myself from the habits and focus on the why.  The root of everything we do is the reason we do it.  Does following the rules make us a good person? I don’t think so.  I can follow the rules all day but if I’m being an asshole in my head, all I’m doing is an outward display of societal collectivism.  But I am not this society.  I do not agree with a lot of the opinions, rules, facts or statements made popular by those around me.  In my disagreement, I will meet upset opinions and hurt feelings because I am disagreeing with the norm.  Therefore, I have to understand so I can reason and provide a logical argument for my behaviors or thoughts. 

I have been processing this for a while and I have just come to the conclusion that it’s okay to dare to think outside the norm.  It’s okay to have your own rules but follow the governing rules around you – IF you understand why they are there and use your mind to implement a decision based on your own logic.  We don’t have to be mindless drones.  It’s okay to think for yourself and god, I'm not apologizing anymore. The beauty and diversity we could be capable of is endless.