Intimacy

When I'm sitting in those moments where our souls gently touch in the closeness, I am reminded what true love looks like.  It's being able to look into your eyes and not feel uncomfortable.  It's laughing with you around a fire.  Your smile when your walls are down. The genuine undressing of our boundaries 100% me and 100% you.  The intimacy is so easy. So comfortable. The trust so easily given. 

I always ask people who've been married for a long time what their secret is. It's sort of become my own private joke- I originally started asking to gleen some advice for my own uncertainties.  However, I started hearing all these lovely answers and now I ask because I love hearing people who still love each other talk about their love. I love seeing them glance at one another as if opening a secret box only they know of. 

I love that to be together for a long time you have to make the decision

(Almost daily) to choose each other.  Some days it's easy to choose your partner but other days (and sometimes for many days, weeks or months) it can be the seal of a promise that chooses for you. There are so many things that can effectively crack the foundation a couple sits on - temptation, stress, money, etc.. But those moments of intimacy can bring strength to the decision to choose. 

Whichever the degree of ease while being with my husband, there is something that I love the most about our union.  In my quest to be as joined with my husband as possible as his wife, partner and best friend- sexually, emotionally and mentally I am always aware of the depth of intimacy we are experiencing and what level we are connecting on.  I am always trying to uncover the depths of his soul. The intricacies that make up his heart are the most interesting thing to me. He is so incredibly beautiful to me because I have seen his soul, those multifaceted colors that make up his rainbow. The intimacy he gives to me has been shared by no other and I love being a part of his heart. I love that for my whole life I get to explore him. I am so privileged and honored that I get to peer into his heart.  That is the nature of intimacy. That is what keeps us connected. That's my desire.  I cannot impact or properly interact with his heart until he allows his defenses to be lowered. There are times when we are together that are naked and pure but it's hard to remain vulnerable even when you're married to someone - especially if you're married to someone! We should guard our permission inside their soul with absolute rigidity. Especially if it isn't easily given. 

I have been in relationships where I've kept myself from the other person and others where I have exposed myself bare.  The times when I am laid bare (although super scary) are the most passionate, intimate moments in my life.  It just shows me that even in a marriage, you are still interacting with a person who has a heart laced in multifaceted colors making up their idiosyncratic characteristics.  We must cherish people, how incredibly complex and beautiful they are - especially if given the gift of experiencing them so intimately. Why do we waste this?

I just thought of something else: if I can peer so deeply into another humans heart and only see a fraction of who they really are- how much more would God know us? And if he would know us so intimately, how much easier is it to understand the reasons for what we do.  With such understanding, how much more forgiving and full of grace would he be?  Love, is a big and pure thing whose simplicity we over complicate. 

--his beloved.