An ode to you

I met you across the church, we became great friends

our paths entwined for a while and for awhile my life was changed

I learned so much from you, so much i'll carry for the rest of my life

I lament the loss of our friendship but i cherish what you gave.

You taught me what love was and that even I was able to recieve

You showed me beauty in all the unforseen

I was able to see God through many of your dreams

I was able to touch God through your passion and hear him in your music

Although our lives have drifted and we've gone our seperate ways

I'll always carry a bit of you with me and not regret a single day

so much of you has changed me and alot of it for good

I think thats why we came together because I think you learned from me too.

as the days run into months and months to years

the anger evaperates and has begun to disappear

I hope you are happy where you are at in life

I am sorry that I hurt you with my stubbornness and pride

I cant change the past but i want to thank you for my future

cuz what ive learned from you, I will carry with me forever.

I have been thinking alot of people that come in and out of our lives. We are a community of people.. a community of souls, brushing against eachother and sharing a part of our souls with eachother. this community is effected by our heartache and rejoyces with our triumphs. Good or bad, people leave their mark on eachother. I want to leave the best mark. I know i havent always and i will probably rub alot of people wrong in days of my life but i really really wanna be the person who pours out my soul for the sake of others "afterall it isn't mine, I am mearly a steward of it" - redeeming love. My life, my possessions, my heart, my passions.. I am mearly a steward of such things. Can i possibly live a life selfless and assured? Giving of myself and knowing I have everything I need from the Lord above? Knowing that I can give of myself and he will replenish me? I wanna live like that. Why must i hold onto stuff? its only stuff. I want to share my love, my memories, my heart, my passion. Ignight a world without a vision. I wanna go and inspire others when i do. I want to forgive easily and not hold things against me.

A few months ago, God showed me what I would be like if I abandoned my everything to him and trusted him entirely. it rocked my world. I wanna be that. imagine what would happen?

I can hardly.

--Jackie